Monday, 2 December 2013

'Professor Unrat' ('The Blue Angel') by Heinrich Mann (Review: Part Three - The Wheels of Time)

And we're back with the final part of our adventures at 'The Blue Angel'!  If you're new to the story, you might want to take a look at Part One and Part Two before continuing with the final instalment...

[The group quickly darts back round the corner before the mini-angel and her bodyguards spot them.  There are plenty of worried-looking faces...]

Clara: OK, what do we do?  Doctor, a plan would be nice - right about now?
Doctor: [Pacing] Think, let me think... [He takes out his sonic screwdriver and starts twiddling nervously with it in his hand.]
Tony: [Looking at the screwdriver] What's that?
Clara: It's his favourite toy.  It fixes electronics and stuff, unlocks doors, sends out sonic signals...
Tony: [Smiling] I think I might just have an idea... [Turns to the Doctor] I need to make a phone call, but I don't appear to have any reception...
Doctor: Unsurprising given the year, but still... [He points the sonic screwdriver at Tony's phone, and it lights up, making a buzzing noise. Tony starts tapping away.]
Caroline: What are you doing?
Lizzy: [Sarcastically]  Who are you going to call?  I don't think Ghostbusters are going to help here!
Tony: I'm just sending a text... [Looks up]  Aha - any second now...

[Suddenly, there's a familiar, loud whirring noise.  Everyone freezes, wondering where the sound is coming from.  Around the corner, the performers and the mini-angel start looking around in confusion.]

Tony: OK, time to get moving - our ride is here...

[A wind gusts through the corridor, and, amid bright lights and an ear-splitting noise, the German Literature Month bus materialises, sending the angel and the performers screaming down the corridor.  The door of the bus opens, and a familiar figure sticks his head out.]

Gary: Quick, jump in!
Doctor: [Jaw dropping] A bus that can travel through time and space?  You're joking, right?
Stu:  It looks like you're not the only one round here with a fancy getaway vehicle...

[Everyone jumps into the bus.  Tony, Stu and Lohmann disappear for a moment before reappearing with a few survivors who eagerly climb on board.  In a matter of seconds, the doors close and Gary goes to drive off, but the Doctor grabs his arm...]

Doctor: No, we can't leave yet, I have to get the TARDIS!
Gary: Relax and take a seat - don't worry about a thing.  The bus had a recent upgrade...

[Outside, a hole appears at the back of the bus - a mechanical arm shoots out and attaches itself to the TARDIS...]

Caroline: [Looking out of the back window] OK, Gary, it's on - let's get out of here!

[Gary starts the engine, and the whirring sound returns.  As he reverses the bus slowly, a scream reverberates through the bus...]

Lizzy: [Pointing through the windscreen] It's the Angel!

[Sure enough, at the far end of the corridor, the Angel stands, glowing defiantly. She spreads her wings, lets out an enormous roar and flies towards the bus...]

Gary: Hang on - this might be a bumpy ride...

[He changes gears and drives off, this time towards the Angel.  Just as the two are about to collide, the bus dematerialises, vanishing along with the TARDIS.  All that can be heard is the Doctor's voice, complaining bitterly about buses, plot holes and timey-wimey stuff...

...the Angel stops just before it hits the wall.  It floats down to the floor, at which point it turns back into Rosa.  She looks around her and, with a sigh, walks back to the main hall.

The hall is almost empty now, with only a few performers sitting dazed around a table.  A little girl is sitting on the floor, sobbing into her dress.  There's an awful smell in the air, and the floor of the hall is dotted with sizzling pools of grease.  Chairs and tables are lying upended all throughout the room.  Rosa looks around and sighs.  Then she claps her hands and addresses the performers.]

Rosa: Come on, everyone.  Let's get this mess cleared up.  We've got a matinée tomorrow...

[As the performers slowly get up and begin the task of clearing up the hall, Rosa walks over and picks up her daughter.  Holding her in her arms, she walks away humming 'Falling in Love Again'.  The scene fades to black as a familiar tune kicks in...]